Filial piety is the age-old moral principle that children show respect and honor to their parents. It is the parents’ due, for they have sacrificed and labored for their children’s sake, giving them birth, feeding them, and providing them with a good start in life.
Therefore, filial children do not regard it as an imposition to care for their parents in their old age. Ideally, this is not regarded as a matter of duty but as the spontaneous and natural prompting of a grateful heart.
Among Father Moon’s extensive teachings about filial piety are these: Filial piety should be encouraged as an enduring tradition that links the generations in an unbroken chain of lineage.
Filial piety is perfected in a mature unselfish mind of the adult child who sympathizes with his parents’ difficulties and sufferings and recognizes them to be more serious then his or her own small problems.
Most importantly, filial piety is a doorway to a deeper relationship with God, our divine Parent.
Sun Myung Moon
Filial Piety as the Root of Virtue
Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God gives you. Exodus 20.12
There are three partners in man: God, father, and mother. When a man honors his father and mother, God says, “I regard it as though I had dwelt among them and they had honored me.” Talmud, Kiddushin 30b (Judaism)
Do not neglect the sacrificial works due to the gods and the fathers! Let your mother be to you like unto a god! Let your father be to you like unto a god! Let your teacher be to you like unto a god! Taittiriyaka Upanishad 1.11.2 (Hinduism)
Thy Lord has decreed… that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your lifetime, do not say to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, “My Lord! Bestow on them Thy mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.” Qur’an 17.23
The superior man works upon the trunk. When that is firmly set up, the Way grows. And surely proper behavior towards parents and elder brothers is the trunk of goodness? Analects 1.2 (Confucianism)
Those who wish to be born in [the Pure Land] of Buddha… should act filially towards their parents and support them, and should serve and respect their teachers and elders. Meditation on Buddha Amitayus 27 (Buddhism)
This do I ask, O Lord; reveal to me the truth. Who fashioned piety in addition to dominion? Who made a son respectful and attentive to his father? Avesta, Yasna 44.7 (Zoroastrianism)
Now filial piety is the root of all virtue, and the stem out of which grows all moral teaching… Our bodies—to every hair and bit of skin—are received by us from our parents, and we must not presume to injure or wound them: this is the beginning of filial piety. When we have established our character by the practice of the filial course, so as to make our name famous in future ages, and thereby glorify our parents: this is the end of filial piety. It commences with the service of parents; it proceeds to the service of the ruler; it is completed by the establishment of [good] character. Classic on Filial Piety 1 (Confucianism)
If your parents take care of you up to the time you cut your teeth, you take care of them when they lose theirs. Akan Proverb (African Traditional Religions)
Sun Myung Moon
Teachings of Sun Myung Moon
Filial piety cannot be practiced with a self-centered attitude. (62:37, September 10, 1972)
Who is a filial child? He or she always thinks of what his or her parents want most and then acts upon it, taking the position of their object partner. The eyes of a filial child see the things his or her parents would like to see.
The ears of a filial child hear the sounds his or her parents would like to hear. The heart of a filial child has feelings his or her parents would like to feel. In other words, filial children have love centered on their parents’ five senses, always yearning for the realm of their parents’ hearts.
They only want what is good for their parents, never anything bad. And when their parents have something good, they try to make it even better. (161:132, January 18, 1987)
A son or daughter who worries more about his or her parents’ cares and difficulties than about his or her own can be called a filial son or daughter. On the other hand, a son who always expects his parents to worry about his troubles, never concerned that they have their own difficulties, is not truly united with his parents.
According to the principle of filial piety, the child who habitually ignores his parents’ situation will fail to properly respond to his parents at the crucial moment when they desperately need his help.
Though the son clings to his parents, continually imploring them to recognize and resolve his difficulties, at the crucial moment he will be a treacherous son. We experience this in our daily life.
Filial piety starts when a child worries about his parents’ difficulties more than his own, adding theirs to his own, and accepts this as a matter of course. On the other hand, when the child ignores his parents’ difficulties, a breach occurs in the relationship. The way of impiety starts there. (62:187, September 25, 1972)
A filial son takes responsibility for his parents’ sorrow. He goes to difficult places in order to resolve their sorrow, that they might rejoice.
If his parents work ten hours and the son works fifteen, the parents will feel joy corresponding to the extra five. Thus, a filial son considers how to supplement what is missing. He serves his parents, trying his best. (24:261, August 24, 1969)
What should you do in order to become a filial son or daughter? You should always keep your mind and heart in line with the direction of your parents’ hearts. A child who walks the path of filial piety does not act apart from his parents.
If his parents go east, he goes east, and if his parents go west, he goes west. Should his parents suddenly turn back, he turns back without dissent. Even if they change their direction ten times, he still follows them.
If you resist and complain, “Father and mother, I don’t like this. What kind of parents are you, changing your minds so impulsively?” then you will not be able to keep the way of filial piety all the way to the end.
Even when your parents do something that seems crazy, you should still follow your parents’ direction. It might seem that they are mad, but your parents know what they are doing and why they are doing it.
Sometimes parents act capriciously to test their children, to pick the most filial child from among them… Therefore, you should take your parents’ follies as your vocation. (62:32-33, December 18, 1985)
When educating children, parents should not teach them only to love their parents. They should explain to their children, “I am a loyal patriot who loves this nation.
I’m not a mother first, but a patriotic mother; I’m not only a father, but a loyal citizen.” In order to teach filial piety, parents should behave with filial piety themselves.3 Otherwise, their children will fall like autumn leaves. (26:296, November 10, 1969)
People have traditionally brought up their children to put the benefit of their own families first, but this is upside-down. Rather, we should train our children first to please Heaven, then please the world, then please the nation and the community, and after that, to please our family.
That is the original principle. But our way of life has become upside-down due to the Human Fall. (8:105, November 22, 1959)
Sun Myung Moon
The Inseparable Bond between Parents and Children
We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the child to his weaning is thirty months. At length, when he reaches the age of full strength and attains forty years, he says, “O my Lord! Grant me that I may be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me, and upon both my parents, and that I may work righteousness such as You may approve; and be gracious to me in my issue. Truly have I turned to You and truly do I bow to You in Islam.” Such are they from whom We shall accept the best of their deeds and pass by their ill deeds: they shall be among the Companions of the Garden: a promise of truth, which was made to them. Paradise, holding the true promise which has been given them. Qur’an 46.15-16
Brethren, one can never repay two persons, I declare. What two? Mother and father. Even if one should carry about his mother on one shoulder and his father on the other, and so doing should live a hundred years; and if he should support them, anointing them with unguents, kneading and rubbing their limbs, and they meanwhile should even void their excrements upon him—even so could he not repay his parents. Moreover, if he should establish his parents in supreme authority, in the absolute rule over this mighty earth abounding in the seven treasures—not even thus could he repay his parents. Why not? Brethren, parents do much for their children; they bring them up, they nourish them, they introduce them to this world. However, brethren, whoso incites his unbelieving parents, settles and establishes them in the faith; whoso incites his immoral parents, settles and establishes them in morality; whoso incites his stingy parents, settles and establishes them in liberality; whoso incites his foolish parents, settles and establishes them in wisdom—such a one, just by so doing, does repay, does more than repay what is due to his parents. Anguttara Nikaya 1.61 (Buddhism)
One companion asked, “O Apostle of God! Who is the person worthiest of my consideration?” He replied, “Your mother.” He asked again, “And second to my mother?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The companion insisted, “And then?” The Messenger of God said, “After your mother, your father.” Hadith of Bukhari and Muslim (Islam)
Son, why do you quarrel with your father, Due to him you have grown to this age? It is a sin to argue with him. Adi Granth, Sarang, M.4, p. 1200 (Sikhism)
Hearken to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old. Buy truth, and do not sell it; buy wisdom, instruction, and understanding. The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who begets a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and mother be glad, let her who bore you rejoice. Proverbs 23.22-25
My father, thank you for petting me; My mother, thank you for making me comfortable; Thank you for robing me with wisdom, which is more important than robing me with clothes. Slaves will minister unto you; Servants will be your helpers. Children whom I shall bear will minister unto you. Yoruba Nuptial Chant (African Traditional Religions)
Sun Myung Moon
Teachings of Sun Myung Moon
No one can change the relationship between parents and children. It cannot be rationalized away. No amount of force can destroy it, nor can the lure of knowledge, power, and money.
The relationship between a child and his or her parents is undeniable; it is destiny. It is inalienable, no matter how much people may try to break it.
Since this relationship, which is derived from love, life and lineage, is eternal, it can enable us to unite with God for eternity. (206:235, October 14, 1990)
Parents and children form an inseparable relationship, especially mother and child. Can you argue with that? Although this is a fallen world, nothing can change the love between a mother and her child.
Neither education nor political revolution can touch this bond. It is so even in the animal world, in the way of a mother bear loving her cubs. It will continue for billions of years, eternally, never changing. Motherhood is an unchanging principle. The entire universe revolves around motherhood. (143:52, March 15, 1986)
To whom do you belong? You belong to your parents and to your children. Then, to whom do your parents belong? They belong to their children and to God.
So, you should first belong to God, then to your parents, then to your children, and finally to yourself. Therefore, can you attain perfection by yourself? You cannot.
That is why moral laws and traditional customs the world over instruct us to respect and attend our parents. That is why these teachings remain and guide our lives to this day. Know that this is the reason we should honor and serve our parents and love our children. (18:209-210, June 8, 1967)
Since parents give life to their children, children should be willing to give their lives for their parents. Life came from love. Hence, it is logical that we sacrifice life for love. There is no contradiction here. (137:76, December 18, 1985)
Children should pay back their parents for the love their parents gave them. When food was scarce their parents fed them, even while they went about with empty stomachs. They loved them at such a cost in order to raise children who will do the same for them.
Parents, you should first go the path of toilsome work and difficulties. Then, with that as a foundation, your children will also go the path of toilsome work and difficulties that can bring comfort to you.
Moreover, because you have been filial to your parents, your children will develop filial piety towards you. And by raising such children, you can bequeath a good lineage to future generations. However, if you live only for yourself and neglect your parents, you cannot expect that your children will be filial towards you.
Who is a filial child?
He loves his parents as his parents loved him. A person who lives this way has a foundation to relate to God… The principle of give-and-take action states that only when a reciprocal base is formed can there be some return.
God comes and abides only upon such a foundation. It is a necessary foundation for establishing the Kingdom of Heaven.
Therefore, sons and daughters who can live in the Kingdom of Heaven are those who willingly paid back the debt of their parents’ love. When your parents become old and senile, you should willingly and gladly attend them.
You can think about how when you were an infant your parents changed your diapers and wiped you clean. You should not feel anything difficult in doing this; it is natural for a filial child. (35:241-42, October 19, 1970)
Your parents tell you to be filial. Why? They want you to participate in the same path of love that they walked, a path that centers on the parents. Yet there is more: The path of parents’ true love leads to a relationship with the invisible God.
Unity with your parents connects you with both realms of heart—invisible as well as visible, vertical history as well as horizontal history. That is why your parents teach you to become a filial child. Yet today, many people question, “Why should I live a life of filial piety?”
Especially, people in America think that way. They even wonder, “Did our parents ever think of giving birth to me? Or did they just happen to conceive me while making love?” They do not know this principle.
The vertical standard must be set before a horizontal standard can be set. For instance, when we construct a building, we first make sure that the beams are vertically straight, and then we align them horizontally.
Otherwise, the building will fall down. Therefore, while living in the world, we should connect to the vertical standard. (136:203, December 29, 1985)
Yet these days, children are denying their parents. From that starting point, they go on to flaunt basic human ethics and morality. This negation of morality is a sign that we are living in the Last Days.
Unification Church members: do not dance to the rhythm of this present trend. Instead, uphold a firm and true connection with your elders. Parents must establish it, children must establish it, and educators must establish it. (21:121, November 17, 1968)
Sun Myung Moon