Although God's purpose for human life is fulfilled in loving families, people on the spiritual quest often leave home and family behind.
Sometimes it comes at the command of God, as when Abraham was called to leave his home and journey to an unknown land.
Initiation into the ranks of monastic life likewise requires a painful separation from loved ones. In other cases, aspirants may encounter opposition from possessive family members, who would drag them away from the path.
Thus, Jesus warned his disciples to expect opposition from their loving parents and spouses and warned them of the cost of discipleship: “He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me.”
Father Moon explains that separating from family and friends is necessary in the course of restoration, which requires a fundamental reorientation of the self from the customary fallen love of the world to the higher love of God.
Sun Myung Moon
Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth; I have come not to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s foes will be those of his own household. He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Matthew 10.34-37
O believers, take not your fathers and brothers to be your friends, if they prefer unbelief to belief; whosoever of you takes them for friends, those—they are the evildoers. Say, “If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your clan, your possessions that you have gained, commerce you fear may slacken, dwellings you love—if these are dearer to you than God and His Messenger, and to struggle in His way, then wait till God brings His command: God guides not the people of the ungodly.” Qur’an 9.23-24
Consort not with those that are dear, neither with those that are not dear; for not seeing those that are dear and seeing those that are not dear are both painful. Dhammapada 210 (Buddhism)
Put no trust in a neighbor, have no confidence in a friend; guard the doors of your mouth from her who lies in your bosom; for the son treats the father with contempt, the daughter rises up against her mother, the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; a man’s enemies are the men of his own house. But as for me, I will look to the Lord, I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me. Micah 7.5-7
God has made up a parable about those who disbelieve: Noah’s wife and Lot’s wife were both married to two of our honest servants; and they betrayed them both. Neither had any help at all from them as far as God was concerned. It was said, “Enter the Fire along with others who are entering it.” God has made up a parable about those who believe: the wife of Pharaoh when she said, “My Lord, build a house for me in Paradise with you, and save me from Pharaoh and his doings. Save me from such wrongdoing folk!” Qur’an 66.10-11
Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you.” Genesis 12.1
Everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life. Matthew 19.29
He who forsakes his home in the cause of God, finds in the earth many a refuge, wide and spacious; should he die as a refugee from home for God and His Apostle, his reward becomes due and sure with God: and God is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful. Qur’an 4.100
If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Luke 14.26
Even your brothers and the house of your father, even they have dealt treacherously with you; they are in full cry after you; believe them not, though they speak fair words to you. Jeremiah 12.6
One day she who was formerly the mate of the venerable Sangamaji came towards him, drew near and said, “Recluse, support me with our little child.” At these words the venerable Sangamaji was silent. So a second time and yet a third time his former wife repeated her words, and still the venerable Sangamaji was silent.
Thereupon she set down the child in front of him and went away, saying, “Here is your child, recluse! Support him!” But the venerable Sangamaji neither looked at the child nor spoke to him. When from a distance she saw this, she thought to herself, “This recluse needs not even his own child.” So she turned back, took up the child and went away. Udana 5-6 (Buddhism)
Give up your wealth and your wife; you have entered the state of the houseless; do not, as it were, return to your vomit. Gautama, be careful all the while! Leave your friends and relations, the large fortune you have amassed; do not desire them a second time; Gautama, be careful all the while… Now you have entered on the path from which the thorns have been cleared, the great path; walk in the right path, Gautama, be careful all the while! Uttaradhyayana Sutra 10.29-32 (Jainism)
How could I be diligent, good Shariputta, when there are my parents to support, my wife and children to support, my slaves, servants and work-people to support, when there are services to perform for friends and acquaintances, services to perform for kith and kin, services to perform for guests, rites to perform for the ancestors, rites to perform for the gods, duties to perform for the king—and this body too must be satisfied and looked after! What do you think, Dhananjani? Suppose someone failed to live the holy life because of his parents, his wife, and so on; because of this failure…the guardians of Niraya hell might drag him off to their hell. Would he gain anything by saying, “I failed to live the holy life because of my parents?” Majjhima Nikaya 2.186-87 (Buddhism)
He who is kind toward much-beloved friends loses his own good from his mind, becoming partial; observing such danger in friendship, let one walk alone like a rhinoceros. As a spreading bush of bamboo is entangled in various ways, so is the longing for children and wives: not clinging to these, even like a bamboo just sprouting forth, let one walk alone like a rhinoceros… If one lives in the midst of company, love of amusement and desire arises; strong attachment for children arises; let therefore one who dislikes separation, which must happen sooner or later from these beloved, walk alone like a rhinoceros… Having abandoned the different kinds of desire, founded on child, wife, father, mother, wealth, corn, relations, let one walk alone like a rhinoceros. Let a wise man, having discovered that such is attachment, that there is in it but little happiness, that it is but insipid, that there is more affliction in it than comfort, that it is a fishhook, walk alone like a rhinoceros. Having cast off the bonds, like a fish which breaks the net in the water, like a fire that returns not to the spot already burned up, let one walk alone like a rhinoceros. Sutta Nipata 37-62: Rhinoceros Discourse (Buddhism)
Sun Myung Moon
Teachings of Sun Myung Moon
Jesus said, “He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”
This is a formula on the path to God.
The deeper the loving attachments you had in the satanic world, the more intensely will those very people try to dissuade you from going on the heavenly way. Know, therefore, that it is a universal truth that you will have enemies among the members of your own family. (92:207, April 10, 1977)
Jesus said, “Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” (Matt. 10:37)
That is one of the reasons why he was severely opposed. Why did he speak like that? It was to sever the original sin. Satan’s blood is mixed in fallen humans and must be extracted. He continued: “Your family members are your enemies.” How can such a saying make sense? Because the original sin remains in fallen human beings. He was right.
As long as people continue to love one another while carrying the original sin, the original sin cannot be removed. This is undeniable. While we continue to love our family members, we cannot overcome this pivotal barrier.
That is why Jesus called them enemies. Blood lineage is transferred through love; therefore, love—parental love, conjugal love, and children’s love are inverted 180 degrees. We should think: “I do not need anything but God. God is above all.” There is no other way to remove the original sin. (79:160, July 20, 1975)
“I think my husband is the best, my wife is the best, and my sons and daughters are the best.” But what good is being the best of a lineage inherited from Satan? This is what you should deny.
To possess God’s love, you must deny your husband’s love, your wife’s love, and your children’s love. God originally intended human beings to relate to Him alone. If there are any traces of Satan’s play on your bodies, the original ideal of love cannot take root. (140:24, February 1, 1986)
On the path to God, you cannot make progress without experiencing the state of heavenly love that is higher than the first love you knew in worldly life…
A couple may have married after falling madly in love and felt that only death could part them, but once the two of them come to know God’s will they should find that higher realm of love [to which their marriage seems pale in comparison]; then they will abandon their marriage within a week. (102:20, November 19, 1978)
How do we restore this world? We plant ourselves as individuals by going in the opposite direction, and then we can pull others to go forward. This is why in high-level religions such as Buddhism, those on the path must leave their homes.
They are not permitted to love their father and mother, or their sister or brother.
The words in the Bible, “Anyone who does not hate his father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters… cannot be my disciple,” seem paradoxical, but they must be accepted as a rational theory to guide us to the path of Heaven. (181:212-13, October 3, 1988)
If I know that I am self-centered and full of evil thoughts, should I continue to enjoy my habitual way of relating to people close to me? No, I should feel revulsion at the way I treat them.
Feeling that way, I would want to be alone. Thus, a person of conscience may isolate himself and tell others not to come near him. Eventually, others will recognize that person; even the universe will protect him as he strives for oneness.
On the contrary, the universe will attempt to expel the person who constantly creates problems and who pollutes his surroundings with his evil actions. He will quickly travel down the road to destruction. Nature knows that human beings are evil. Therefore, do you think it will be sympathetic to the person who lives as he pleases, not caring about how he affects others?
Or to the person who lives a solitary life over concern that he might be polluted by human relationships? Have you ever had a friend whom you disliked and wished would never come around, but who visited you constantly? Maybe the first few times you would talk to him, but if he came repeatedly, you would slam the door in his face…
It is out of these considerations that asceticism emerged in the religious life. People seeking solitude would go deep in the mountains and live as hermits, desiring to sever any relationships with other human beings. We can view the emergence of such asceticism as a natural thing… Nature finds something hopeful in such people. (November 4, 1990)
It is extremely difficult to leave your beloved children behind to follow the lonely path of Heaven, where no one welcomes you, but that is my life story. When I went to North Korea, I abandoned my wife and infant child. I did not go because I wanted to.
I went at Heaven’s command,d use God required it. I resisted and agonized for about a day or two, but because I knew God’s situation was worse than my troubles, I went. (64:148, October 29, 1972)
You have struggled with your attachment to your family. Everyone loves his or her sons and daughters. So do dogs and pigs, and people as dull as trees and stones. Reverend Moon is no different.
It is not that I lack the heart to love my children; my love for them is as strong and sensitive as any parent's. Towards my mother, very sentimental. I loved her dearly. However, when my mother visited me in prison, I glared at her fiercely and shouted, “I am not your son.”
My mother is no longer alive. When I learned that she had passed away, I felt I had been an undutiful son.
However, that son worked for God’s will to uphold the heavenly law. He worked for the sake of the nation and the world instead of working for himself and the happiness of his clan. (168:148, September 13, 1987)
Sun Myung Moon