Authors
1. When a bride and bridegroom are going to consummate their marriage after the wedding ceremony, they do not need to call their mother and father to teach them how to love each other.
Even insects do well without being instructed. Then what should human beings, as the lords of creation, be taught? That which is covered with a veil of mystery should be unveiled only by those in the position of its owners.
The original pattern of the dutiful path and proper education never appeared, so we impart these in the Unification Church. One representative man and one representative woman, having mastered filial love for their parents and siblings' love for each other, must meet and become a perfected couple capable of loving all humanity.
This universal man and woman, representing right and left, are united. Embodying the value of God's vertical love, they are bound together. (226-337, 1992.02.09)
Ideal conjugal love
2. True love travels along the shortest route. Vertical love travels to only one point, where the vertical axis meets the horizontal at ninety degrees. The shortest path is at 90 degrees, not 89 or 91 degrees.
The vertical should go through that point. True love between man and woman should also go through that point. If you seek the shortest route, it will inevitably produce a ninety-degree angle. Love between siblings can also be expressed as a ninety-degree angle. No matter where you apply this principle, it works.
No one loses out. In vertical, perpendicular love, heaven, and earth become earth and heaven; father and mother become mother and father, and elder and younger brothers become younger and elder brothers.
The ideal scene unfolds where everything can turn upside down, mingle together, and still fit perfectly. This explains why my grandparents love me, and why, as a testament to their love, I love my brothers and sisters.
The home in which a husband and wife attend to their parents and live together with their children is a home of love. A person who does not experience such a family home of love will not have such a home in heaven. (226-292, 1992.02.09)
3. The realization of a family kingdom of heaven will surely lead to the establishment of the kingdom of heaven on earth. Thus, Unification Church families need to realize the family kingdom of heaven. To experience it, you need a partner.
Only through the stimulation you receive in your family and with your partner, can you experience the ideal of the future heavenly kingdom in your daily life.
Husband and wife require each other to learn this lesson and receive the stimulation that allows them to live eternally. Progress cannot come about without stimulation.
Conjugal love provides the stimulation required to build the ideal kingdom of heaven. In other words, conjugal love pulls future joy into the realm of the present, provides stimulation, and supplies the driving force to bring the couple to that kingdom. Because that love contains love for the nation, love for the world, and love for God, it can move freely and universally. (37-109, 1970.12.22)
4. A woman should love one man, but she should love him as a representative of all men in the world. That man represents her father, elder brother, and younger brother. A woman should consider her husband to be her father, grandfather, elder brother,r and younger brother.
Through loving her father, her grandfather, and her elder and younger brothers, a woman becomes eligible to receive a partner. A woman should have the attitude of love for all the men in the world, and she should embrace and love her husband as the representative and fruit of all men.
This shows her love for humanity. With the heart to love her husband as her father, elder brother, and younger brother, and by transcending all nations and borders, a woman can be considered a daughter of God. (83-219, 1976.02.08)
5. What is a true husband? A true husband says to his wife, “I was born for your sake, and so I will live for you and die for you.” The same applies to a true wife. If a husband and wife are responsive to each other, rise above their self-interest, and live for the sake of each other, their family will surely become an ideal family—a loving, happy, and peaceful family. (77-106, 1975.04.01)
6. No matter how capable and talented a man may be, the purpose for his birth does not lie in himself. He was born for the sake of a woman. Conversely, no matter how beautiful a woman may be, even as a proud actress, she was not born for her own sake.
Where, then, are the ideal husbands and wives of true love? When a husband thinks he was born for his wife, he will live for her and die for her, and he will appear as the ideal husband. The same is true for the wife.
According to this principle, where can we find an ideal person—a happy, loving,g and good person? Such people cannot be found among those who live for their own sake, but only among those who live for the sake of others. (070-305, 1974.03.09)
7. Blessed families are to accomplish the standard that Adam and Eve failed to attain. They should connect with God's love at their center. By this standard of living in resonance with God's heart, have you accord each other absolute devotion?
You should have absolute devotion to and absolute love for one another. You should become one rooted in such love and become a center of harmony. While looking at a mountain, a husband and wife might ask for whom the mountain exists, and while thinking about the whole universe, they might ask for whom this universe was created.
They would surely answer by saying, “It is for me, and at the same time it is for you.” This is what a married couple is like. The way for a husband and wife to unite is by valuing God's central purpose and fulfilling the purpose for which this universe came into existence.
The husband and wife communicate with each other based on heart, love, and personal character, walking the same path. A country bumpkin married to a government minister walks the same path as the minister. Although that person may have graduated only from elementary school, everyone will need to bow before him or her as the minister's spouse.
This is how a husband and wife go together. Between husband and wife, can there be one love for him and a separate love for her? For them, “Your love is my love, and my love is your love.” (29-142, 1970.02.26)
8. If a loving husband and wife were asked how long they will be in love and one of them answers, “As long as we are young,” would the other feel good about that? They want to love each other until they die, and then for eternity.
Saying “until I die” means you intend to love by giving everything you have until death. But eternity represents the entire future and giving your whole self forever.
Only with this commitment will your spouse be happy. When young women get married, they will surely ask their husbands, “Do you love me?” When their husbands say they do, they will then ask, “Do you love me completely or do you love me only a little?”
Only when the husbands say they love their wives completely will they make their wives happy. It is the same with men. This is how things are harmonizing with God. (37-024, 1970.12.22)
9. A husband and wife who love each other while forgetting God's Will should be ashamed in front of Heaven. A family that pursues only its happiness, without considering the Will of God, will not develop.
If something joyful happens in your family, you have to connect it to the nation, to the world, and God. Then that joy in the family will be a source of pride for the nation, for the world, and God. This is the way of life of a blessed couple.
(30-182, 1970.03.22)
10. When you try to serve each other and work for the sake of others, the whole world of creation will follow suit and heavenly fortune will chase you faster than a speeding automobile in a car chase. When heavenly fortune comes your way, you will be able to fly.
Because Heaven and Earth protect couples that follow the way of Heaven's Principle and live for the sake of others, they will never decline. They will only succeed and prosper. That is Heaven's law. Once you become a couple of true love, you need to plant the seed of true lineage.
When they unite based on true love and have a baby, they connect with the tradition as a mother and father and reach the point of family settlement.
A couple with God's original nature of one mind, one body, one thought and one harmony, who become one with the principles of absolute sex based on eternal love, who display absolute faith, love, and obedience, who invest and then forget how much they have invested, and who are a model of heavenly principles, will flourish even when things go poorly, and flourish even more when things go well. Satan cannot enter such a couple. (405-205, 2003.02.11)
Ideal parent-child relationships
11. Parents who have given birth to and raised children understand the desire to receive blessings and feel happiness through their beloved sons and daughters. If they can establish a foundation of happiness and blessings, they want to bequeath it to their offspring for eternity.
Even fallen parents hope that their children will grow up as fine people whom all nations can follow, ever,e and praise eternally. The parent's heart seeks to protect children from harm and is anxious about them day and night. Even fallen parents have this heart.
A mother accepts the smell of her baby's urine and feces. While nursing her child, she whispers and sings lullabies, while continually wishing for the child's success in life. Every parent has such a heart. If a child is incompetent or lacking, or suffers from a disability, the parents' hearts suffer to the point of breaking. If this situation is then resolved, their relief and joy go beyond the pain they had felt.
(20-209, 1968.06.09)
12. Unification cannot be brought about by force. If it could, the world would always be controlled by the one with the greatest strength. Nonetheless, when you talk about having love, the greater person is the one who gives greater love. The greater person lives for the sake of others.
The higher person should serve the lower one. Unification occurs not by domination but through service. That is why all children go to their mother's bosom when she is near. It is possible only in love. Parents who are suffering and challenged have their energy and stamina restored when their children come to hug them.
We might think that a strong hug would cause more pain, but it generates more energy. Love and hugs are sources of happiness. A collision with love revives and reenergizes people who have become tired and worn out. (147-093, 1986.08.31)
13. From the viewpoint of a parental heart, a mother, no matter how attractive she may be, will feel happy if a passerby compliments her baby, saying, “Wow, he's so much better-looking than his mother!” Even though this implies she is less attractive than her baby, no mother would protest and grumble, “What? Is he much more attractive than I am? Does this mean I am much less attractive?”
Rather, she would be unable to contain her joy. This is an example of the maternal heart. Whose heart do you think this resembles? Mothers are resultant beings, not causal ones. A family that hopes that the son will achieve less than his father will decline.
If the father is the president of his country, but his son's accomplishments fall short of his, and if this pattern were to continue for some generations, that family might gradually decline and end up in a miserable state. (41-283, 1971.02.17)
14. What is the source and motivation of parental love? The love between a man and woman is changeable, but parental love toward the children born of conjugal love is unchanging. Why?
Parental love, which is unchanging love, does not originate from the horizontal conjugal relationship. Parental love originates from a certain vertical flow. Who is the source of that vertical love? It is God.
We need an absolute subject partner of unchanging love in the original position with whom we, as object partners, can establish a steadfast relationship. Vertical love is not the kind of love that a husband and wife can enjoy for their pleasure.
Vertical love does not adjust to your self-centered desire to love or not love. But even if you try, you cannot sever it. Your horizontal position affords you no power to change it. Thus, the love of parents toward their children never changes.
(48-155, 1971.09.12)
15. The moment a baby's umbilical cord is severed, a loving heart naturally arises in the parents. Every life form, whether on a high or low level, is created such that it cannot resist loving and protecting its young.
Because the act of loving inspires parents to invest and offer their lives as foundation stones for their children, it is clear that parental love is the closest to eternal and unchanging love. This does not mean that parental love can match that absolute nature. It cannot become absolute. Nonetheless, it can serve as a foundation for humankind.
It can become a firm foothold in this world, an eternal foothold. Where did parental love come from? It is not learned from the advice of one's father or the admonition of one's spouse, and it does not come from one's own decision to love. It happens naturally. Love is something that comes naturally. (48-156, 1971.09.12)
16. As a child, I would often observe bird nests. Once I climbed a tree to look inside a nest and the mother bird started pecking at me. I brushed her aside. She flew away but returned repeatedly, desperate and willing to die to protect her nest.
Observing this behavior, we cannot deny the powerful instinct of animals to risk their lives to protect their young. The same can be said of people. You should be able to invest your life for the sake of love.
That is the way of a true person. Which people are excellent? They are those who establish love as their root and try to protect their loved ones even at the cost of their lives. (186-018, 1989.01.24)
17. What is the limit of parents' love for their children? Parents love their children beyond their childhood years, through adulthood, and even into eternity. If a relationship is established between a parent and child, through which both feel increasing worth and value, then infinite strength and infinite stimulation—something infinite and new—will arise within that relationship.
(32-013, 1970.06.14)
18. What is the origin of love? Love comes from your parents, not from you. There can be no result without a cause. Because you know that you are not the owner when it comes to love, you should not impose your will on others. When you come before your parents, you should say, “Yes, mother and father, you are right.” When your parents remind you, “No matter how great your reputation or power, you cannot do things that deviate from your duty to your parents,” you need to reply, “Yes, yes, yes, mother and father, you are right.”
This is based on love. It is because parents are the subject partners and children are the object partners. The subject partner serves the object partner and the object partner follows the subject partner.
This is the principle of heaven. Because he is born by heavenly nature, even an ignorant or uneducated person has a basis for understanding this heavenly principle. Therefore, even the mightiest champion needs to bow his head before his parents. If this principle is violated in a family, that household will lose all its value, and collapse. (050-135, 1971.11.06)
19. Parental love is the first love. We learn of the love between father and mother through our parents, and children who observe their parents' love for each other feel incomparable joy.
Children who have been raised with the empowerment of true parental love become well-rounded people who understand the dynamics of love. They experience receiving one-to-one vertical love when loved by their mother or father, and receiving two-to-one vertical love when loved by both parents. This unique inheritance is possible only through parental love. (62-016, 1972.09.10)
20. Children should be able to say, “My mother and father are the best in the world! They are representatives of God.” When children see their parents' unchanging hearts and minds, they should think, “We must emulate our parents' love and unite with each other.”
When they can say that, the ideal family is right there. Our mind and heart seek an object partner with whom to unite. If this unity does not occur in a marriage, we lose everything.
Thinking seriously about and striving hard to achieve this oneness is the proper way for both men and women. For this reason, we need to build families in which the father and mother are united with God's heart and love, and in which the children resemble their parents in their unity with God's heart and love.
(97-277, 1978.03.26)
21. There was a time when I was praying deeply in a mystical state, seeking to understand the original foundation of the universe. I received this answer from God: “It is the relationship between father and son. It is father and son.” We understand that our parents gave us birth, but where is the highest meeting place between parents and children?
They meet at the central place where love, life, and the ideal intersect; then love, life, and the ideal are in one location. In that place, God is love, and so are we; God is life, and so are we; God is the ideal, and so are we. The first avenue through which these things can be established is the parent-child relationship.
We are all born through the unity in the love of our mother and father and their mutual relationship. Thus, in that environment of love, at the junction where two lives are united, our life emerges.
A husband and wife should not dislike each other; rather, they should view each other as ideal. When a couple unites in love, conjugal love is fulfilled. At that time, a husband's love becomes his wife's love, his life becomes her life, and his ideals become her ideals. (069-079, 1973.10.20)
22. God's seeds, the seeds of the ideal of creation, are children. No matter how loving a husband and wife may be, their conjugal relationship lasts only one generation if they have no children and thus do not experience parenthood.
Without a man, a woman cannot learn to love a man; she cannot know the meaning of love. A man or woman cannot know what love is without a partner. To know love, we need a husband or wife. The hope of God, too, has been to see His object partners.
Are there men or women who want their spouses to be worse than they are? Are there parents who want their children to be worse than they are, or children who want their parents to be worse than they are? We all want our subject and object partners to be more wonderful than we are. (401-229, 2003.01.07)
Sun Myung Moon