True Love Between Man and Woman and True Marriage

1. Man came to exist because of love. A man's love does not come from the man himself. It comes from a woman. Likewise, a woman's love comes from a man.

From the standpoint of love, a man is not born for himself. He will never be able to find the path of true love if he is self-serving. He will not be able to advance and will end up fixed in one spot.

Since God invested everything in the creation of the universe, man should also follow the same path. This means a man is born to live for someone else. He is born for true love, but if he insists that he is born for himself, he will not find true love.

Thus, we can conclude that a man is born for a woman. And based on true love, a woman is born for a man. (177-218, 1988.05.20)

Man and woman exist for each other

2. For God to be happy with love, what kind of universe would He make? Since God cannot enjoy love by Himself, He designed the entire universe as a system of pairs. Even the mineral kingdom is composed of pairs.

You can find symmetrical crystalline structures that are attached. These pairs connect according to the principle of partnership. Though we may not be able to see it with our eyes, everything functions like this. Since this universe was created with love as its guiding force, all things are made to pursue relationships that can harmonize with love.

For all things of creation to harmonize with love, they must be in subject-object relationships. One entity alone cannot love. To connect everything through love based on the principle of subject and object partners, the universe was made as a pair system. (182-123, 1988.10.16)

3. Man and woman were born for each other. A man has no way to find love without a woman.

Therefore, a man is born for a woman, and a woman for a man, for the sake of love. This is what makes them precious to each other. True love cannot co-exist with self-centeredness. It exists where one lives for the other.

Therefore, a man was born for a woman, and a woman was born for a man. Since God is the being of true love, He always lives for the sake of others. God made human beings for their sake; He did not create them for His own sake. True love exists for the sake of the other. (144-214, 1986.04.24)

4. Man is born for women. You may not like hearing it, but this is a heavenly principle. Until eternity, this truth cannot change. Yet most human beings do not know it. Love is the most treasured and important thing for human beings; hence, a woman is necessary for a man.

When a man and a woman marry, based upon what do they marry? They are physiologically different; do they not marry based on that? Women might be able to marry each other, but why do they marry men?

This is because their physiological structure is different. That is absolute. Through this structural difference, the way is opened for a woman to inherit the precious lifeline of a man's love; through this transmission of love,e a relationship with the universe is secured.

The path of love that a man seeks comes through a woman. The path of love that a woman seeks comes through a man. This is man-woman marital love; it alone is what establishes the ideal foundation and standard of all values. When we come forth in oneness with this love, the universe will welcome us.

This love endows us with the ability to gain universal power, by which we can overcome obstacles anywhere east, west, north, and south, and become owners. This love possesses great power. (142-138, 1986.03.08)

5. When spring comes and pigeons call out, “coo, coo,” they are singing a song of love. That is a wonderful thing. Everything in nature is a textbook that teaches us. All birds and animals exist in pairs, and they come together through love. This reflects the harmonious relationship of heaven and earth.

The opposite poles of the universe come into harmony centered on love. It is the same with migratory birds. Birds that had been living in the south fly to the north, and birds that had been living in the north fly to the south, the males, and females within each species loving each other back and forth across the regions. Thus, they go round and round endlessly.

Human beings are to learn about love from this textbook of love the museum of nature that God created for them. When human beings and God love each other in joy, all things of creation in heaven and on earth will harmonize with their rhythm.

When God loves and rejoices, the angelic world also rejoices, and the entire created world applauds and offers joyful praise. (142-274, 1986.03.13)

6. Art is worthless unless an emotional context is deeply embedded in it. If a painting created more than a thousand years ago can still arouse strong emotions in its viewers, even stronger than the emotion at the time of its creation, that work can be called a masterpiece.

Of all the works of art created by God, His greatest masterpiece is human beings, especially because of the love in their hearts. When something with the beauty of an object partner's love stands before its subject partner of ideal love, God's eyes brim with tears. The beauty of love is such that it melts you and mesmerizes you without you realizing it.

When the warm spring comes, even tiny insects we can hardly see make love as male and female. When we see that, it is truly wondrous. When there is a female, a male comes, and they know how to love each other.

We do not know who taught them to do so, but they know how to make love and reproduce. All such things are part of the museum of love God created to teach human beings about love. (142-274, 1986.03.13)

7. When Adam and Eve love each other, God rejoices. This is because He participates in their love.

God divided Himself into Adam and Eve, man and woman, as partners of love. When the two come together in love, they collide and explode. And when God feels that exciting explosion, He is thrown on His back, intoxicated in love.

When I say such a thing, it is not blasphemy. There is no blasphemy when it comes to love. All it takes is love, which God relishes so much. In this world, what a woman likes most is a man. Even if a woman is so remarkably beautiful that she is the envy of all the heaven and earth, if she does not have a man to love her, she feels like nothing.

When she returns home she is lonely and everything is a bore. Even if her bedding is made of silk, she will despise it. But if her man is with her, she will find it pleasant even if she has to lie down on a ragged quilt. (143-086, 1986.03.16)

8. All nature is an exhibition hall of love. When Adam and Eve, who are meant to be the owners of all things of creation, stand at the center and look in all directions, everything they see serves as a textbook of love. All plants and animals become partners to Adam and Eve.

Even the insects are like exhibits in a museum that teach the man and woman to follow the ideal path of love. Our environment is one great natural museum for the lessons of love. It is all for Adam and Eve. Thus, a person who cannot love nature cannot love people, and a person who cannot love people cannot love a family. (144-093, 1986.04.08)

9. Man was born for women, and woman for man. This is why the reproductive organ of the man is not his own, and that of the woman is not her own. God, being wise, exchanged their ownership. In the Unification Church, the greatest sin, for which it is most difficult to be forgiven, is to be unfaithful to one's spouse.

When you mention the right side, you are implying that the left side exists. When you discuss the above, you are implying that the below exists. Therefore, when you mention a woman, you are implying that a man exists. No man was born for himself. What the convex needs is the concave part; thus, men are not the owners of their convex parts.

The reproductive organ is extremely sacred. The life and love of God connect to it. It is the source of love, where eternal love is revealed and perpetuated. It is the source, and without going through it, a man and a woman cannot approach the love of God.

That spot is the source of love, the source of life, and the source of the bloodline. When love moves, life pulsates and the blood stirs. This happens when the love of the mother and the love of the father are brought together, fully exchanged, and intermingled, thus forming a perfect sphere. (198-122, 1990.01.25)

10. God wanted to dwell in the most holy place of love. If human beings had not fallen, their reproductive organs would have been God's holy of holies. Human beings did not make that holy of holies. Of all the things God created, it is the most complex, the most stimulating, and the most sensitive.

It is the zone of contact through which a man and a woman can be fulfilled in love. When lightning hits a lightning rod, it strikes the very tip. It can feel as if every nerve in a person's body is concentrated in the tip of the one organ that determines the key difference between a man and a woman.

Even if I do not name it, you all know what that one thing is. It is so precious. If not for the Fall, it would have been the holy of holies where God would reside and where His love would dwell. (143-091, 1986.03.16)

11. The holy of holies symbolizes perfected Adam and Eve. Moses' two stone tablets, the manna and quail, and Aaron's rod that budded all symbolize Adam and Eve. Of the many cryptic stories in the Bible, a large number are allegories of Adam and Eve.

The pillar of cloud and the pillar of fire represent Adam and Eve, and the Tree of Life and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil also refer to Adam and Eve. The secret of Adam and Eve's love has been recorded in allusions, but it has never been revealed. If Adam and Eve had not fallen and instead had reached maturity and become husband and wife, everything about God's Will would have been fulfilled.

From there, the kingdom of heaven would have begun. On the foundation of God and His children having realized true love, the kingdom of heaven would have unfolded. However, because of the Fall, there is no foundation for that love.
(143-091, 1986.03.16)

12. If you ask why a man is born, I will answer that he is born not for himself but for a woman. The most important thing to a man is a woman. A woman, too, is not born for herself. The purpose of her existence is not for herself but to unite with a man. A woman's innate beauty is not her own. Do her breasts belong to her? Do her expansive hips?

Was she born to have them because of herself? No, it was for a man. Likewise, a man was born to develop large shoulders, not so that he can show off and exert his strength and be a violent beast, but rather to protect a woman. The woman has big hips and the man has big shoulders so they can create balance.

They were not born for themselves. If they insist that they were born for themselves, they destroy true love. True love begins from God, who exists for humanity and whose love is such that He gives, gives, and gives again, and then forgets. That is true love. (142-334, 1986.03.14)

13. The reproductive organs are the source of life, love, and lineage. Because their true purpose was subverted, they have come to be described by the foulest words in the world. If their use had not gone awry, we would not call them by the foulest words but by the grandest.

They would be holy words. If human beings had not fallen, man and woman's reproductive organs would be the palace of love. Therefore, they are not to be used recklessly. They are the palace of life. They are where life comes into being. What's more, they are the palace of lineage.

From there new life is born and lineage is bequeathed. They are the source of our life, our lineage, and our love. (206-126, 1990.10.03)

14. Of the bodily organs we have, which is the most treasured? It is the organ that links to love, life, and everything involving the lineage of future generations of humankind. From the structural standpoint, that organ is the most precious center of the entire nervous system.

This is the reproductive organ. This being the case, anyone who desires true love needs to know how to safeguard his or her reproductive organs. Sinning with that organ is to desecrate your ancestors, to desecrate God, and to desecrate the origin of life, lineage, and love. By that act, you trample on all humanity and all human beings in all the ages of history, and you destroy all the ideals of love.
(193-121, 1989.09.10)

15. When do the blood and flesh of a man and a woman join in harmony? This takes place when they make love. The lifeblood of a man and a woman cannot mingle just by looking into each other's eyes. It mingles through their living as husband and wife, that is, by making love.

The place where they make love is the source of life. The lifeblood of the man and the woman does not intermingle anywhere else. There is only one place for it: the place where they connect in love-making. That is also the place where lineages are connected. It is the place where lives attach and adhere together. It is where lineage begins and where love settles. And it is the only point where love engenders oneness. (252-105, 1993.11.14)

Our portion of responsibility and our ideal partner in love

16. How can people receive blessings? It is by loving people, who are God's greatest masterpieces, by certain principles and rules. There is an order in loving. It begins not from children, but from parents who give love to their children. What is the most beautiful time for human beings?

It is young adulthood, the time of youth when one's flowering is in full bloom. This period is roughly seven years from age eighteen through twenty-four. This seven-year period is a time never to be repeated in your life, the time when the flower of your love blossoms. How treasured is this beautiful time that will come only once in your life!

The buds of some peonies are of an unusual yellow color, and they are wrapped tightly in dozens of layers so they cannot be opened easily. The same is true for the love of men and women. When should you fully reveal the bud of your love, which blossoms like a golden flower? It is the time of youth, the time when beauty is best revealed by the harmony of heaven and earth.

Even to human eyes, it is the time when a person is most fully blossoming. It is a time when you shine as the centerpiece of God's masterwork. The period of youth is your best and most beautiful stage of life. (26-152, 1969.10.25)

17. Love moves forward in a spiral. It should not grow smaller; rather, it should gradually grow larger. When it expands as it should, individual love naturally pursues family-level love. But our family alone is not enough; we need a tribe, as love develops and expands through a spiral motion.

In the Unification Church we say that the individual exists for the sake of the family and, moving on from this, that the nation exists for the world, the world for the cosmos, the cosmos for God, and God for love, which means that all beings that exist on this earth want to be absorbed by love.

If a man lived a private life alone with his wife, even though he loved her very much, what would he do if a love greater than their conjugal love came along? The husband would follow that love. If a person who lived with his or her spouse came to learn that there was a world-level love that could embrace everything, that person would pursue that love, leaving his or her family.

This is not a bad thing. This is the path of goodness because those who set out to follow that greater love come nearer to God's side. (187-054, 1989.01.06)

18. God wished for Adam and Eve to reach their full maturity. They can be compared to chestnut burrs. Around June or July, the size of a chestnut burr is the same as it will be at the time of harvest. However, if you pry it open at that time, you find no nut inside.

You may find something in the form of a nut, but it is not yet ripe and ready to eat. Adam and Eve were like that. There was no edible nut inside. God was waiting for them to ripen. When Adam and Eve reached maturity, they would have become the center of the universe. Everything that exists would then have known its position about that universal center, Adam and Eve.

Therefore, God was waiting for them to mature to the age of seventeen, eighteen, or older. God did not create Adam and Eve as mature adults from the first, but following His laws of nature, created them as infants. If Adam and Eve had grown to maturity and then loved each other in oneness with God, humanity today would not be in such a wretched state. (143-092, 1986.03.16)

19. Nothing is more precious than the love of God. Once I possess His love, the universe is mine. It belongs to God and me both. In like manner, a woman's organ of love belongs to her husband and a man's to his wife. That's why they can say to each other, “Your body is my body, and my body is your body.” In this way, the ownership is exchanged.

Even though the man has his reproductive organ, it does not mean he is its owner, and even though the woman has her reproductive organ, it does not mean she is its owner. Therefore, if you use your reproductive organs however you want, you will be in serious trouble. This is absolute. For this reason, the Unification Church does not support premarital relationships, or even dating.

God's Will is for you to give your first love to your spouse. This was true for Adam and Eve; they were supposed to have treasured their first love. God guides the first love. He connects hell and heaven through the bridge of first love. Hell will disappear when this bridge is built. (143-092, 1986.03.16)

20. You need to know that your portion of responsibility is all-important. If God had explained to Adam about his portion of responsibility, as I am doing for you right now, Adam might not have fallen. If God had constantly told him, “You have a portion of responsibility, you little brat! This is why I tell you not to eat the fruit.

It is your portion of responsibility, your own!” and shouted at him night and day about this responsibility, Adam might not have fallen. Many women want to have a husband who is tall and good-looking, not short and slightly built. So I think I should find such women the shortest husbands. That would truly allow for restoration through indemnity.

Another benefit is that, when a short man weds a tall woman, his unfulfilled desire is at last satisfied. Similarly, when a skinny woman weds a heavy-set man, her unfulfilled desire will be satisfied. (133-151, 1984.07.10)

21. As the four seasons of spring, summer, autumn, and winter differ from one another, so do people. Some are reborn in summer, some in autumn, some in winter, and others in spring. Those who are born in spring need to go through the summer time of life, and those who are born in winter need to adapt to the springtime of life.

The directions they should take in life are different. As the earth moves in its orbit, the direction human beings take changes as well. One may follow an ascending fortune, another a descending fortune. If a person whose fortune is declining joins with a person of similar fortune, they will both perish. Events will transpire; for example, they may both be killed in an auto accident.

Therefore, if your fortune is declining, you will be able to survive only if you can join with a person whose fortune is naturally rising. For this reason, a man who has a bleak fortune should, if at all possible, find a woman who is ascending and who can pull him up along with her. (120-317, 1982.10.20)

22. Which season matches your innate nature? Is it a season of descending, ascending, or overcoming? Do you have an agreeable or contrary disposition? Everyone's nature is different. A primary point is that you need to conform to others, especially your spouse. In doing so, a period of just a few months is not enough.

You need to make this effort for at least three years. It is your destiny, and you will have to pioneer it in your life. Getting married itself is not the end of everything. Marriage is not an easy thing. You need to marry well. If you meet someone on the street and marry that person just because he or she looks beautiful, that marriage likely will not last long.

According to young men and women who gaze at each other, everything looks green and attractive simply because it is summer time. The trees are green, and they have beautiful fruit on them, and crows and magpies are flying in and out; it is all alluring. But do you know what kind of fruit it is?

Pine trees, for instance, should be engrafted only with pine trees. There are different species and families of trees, with boundaries between them.
(120-318, 1982.10.20)

23. When there is a perfect plus, a perfect minus is bound to appear. But even if a perfect minus does not appear, the perfect plus does not cease to exist. If a perfect plus could cease to exist, we would have to conclude that even God Himself, who is in the position of the perfect plus, would have to cease to exist without a perfect minus.

Based on this logic, the perfect plus creates the perfect minus. In this regard, the Bible story that God took a rib from Adam and created Eve means that Eve was created with Adam as the pattern. It means that from a perfect plus a perfect minus will inevitably emerge.

Thus, if Adam became a perfect plus, Eve, in the position of a perfect minus, was to be born through Adam. This is a principle of heaven and earth. If you understand the Bible story in this way, you will recognize that God is a true scientist.
(140-128, 1986.02.09)

24. God created man to become perfect, but not for the perfect man himself. In other words, the perfect plus was not created for the perfect plus but for the perfect minus, which is the woman. Since God, the origin, is the absolute subject partner, He needs to create an absolute object partner.

In other words, since God is the absolute subject partner and the perfect plus, He needs to create an object partner who is the perfect minus. The perfect plus does not cease to exist; rather He creates the perfect minus. Suppose a person has perfect character.

Even if he or she is unobtrusive, conscientious people nearby will flock to that person and try to emulate him or her. All existing things – every part of the material world – will likewise gravitate to that subject partner to secure the realm of its object partner.

They are attracted because they want to rise to a higher level, a place of higher dimension and higher value. All elements move upward in pursuit of a more complete and more ideal version of themselves on a higher level.
(140-129, 1986.02.09)

25. Only when it is determined that you have become a perfect subject or a perfect object can your perfect, ideal partner emerge. So the issue that needs to be settled first is how you can perfect yourself. When you reach maturity, you naturally want to find and love your spouse, but you need first to set the condition of having loved your parents even more than that person.

Only when everyone can say of you, “That person is a filial son or daughter,” can you form a relationship of love with God, which is a prerequisite for forming a relationship of love with your spouse.

This is a heavenly rule and a principle of creation. Before you start thinking about your ideal partner, you first need to form a bond of love with your parents such that they can proclaim you publicly as a filial child.

This means you need to completely unite with your parents. In addition, to practice true filial piety, you must also create unity among your siblings. Everyone in your family should be able to say that you are truly exemplary. Only when you have achieved all this can you begin a relationship with your spouse as his or her ideal partner? (100-149, 1978.10.09)

26. When God looks at people, He first looks into the depths of their hearts. Next, He looks at their past and then their future, based on the present. Those of you who are young should understand the importance of this.

You should not choose friends based on their good looks. Instead, you should choose them based on the quality of their heart, and what their future will be like in light of their way of life in the past and the present. The face is like a window on the heart. The face shows only the four features – eyes, nose, lips, and ears.

Therefore, whether you are homely or handsome you should conduct yourself well and have a generous heart. If God were searching the world to find one person, what kind of person would He want to find? It would be a person whose heart is as big as the world. But even if such a person existed, what if that person had eyes and hands that were as large as the world?

No one would welcome him or her. Harmony comes when a person has a big heart. Rather than priding yourself on a beautiful or handsome face, you should live with a virtuous heart.

This being the case, would you rather seek to marry someone with a beautiful face or with a beautiful heart? You should marry a person with a beautiful heart.
(100-093, 1978.10.09)

True marriage is the fulfillment of the ideal of creation

27. You marry to fulfill the ideal of creation, that is, the purpose of creation. Before it is Adam's purpose, the purpose of creation is God's purpose. So it follows that God should feel joy before Adam does.

From this perspective, we marry for the sake of God. In other words, we wed for the sake of the Will, which is God's purpose of creation. That Will is to fulfill the ideal of creation. The ideal of creation is not achieved centered on oneself. All hearts have to become one body with God, the subject partner, so that when He moves we move, and when He does not move we do not move.

The inner and outer must attain the point of oneness in the heart. The purpose of creation cannot be fulfilled unless you achieve the standard of harmonizing with God in this manner.

For you to become as Adam and Eve who have perfected the purpose of creation, you need to marry. You do this because of God and His Will. (35-231, 1970.10.19)

28. We were born for the sake of love. True love is the foundation of the universe. That holds for men and women. Why do a man and a woman marry? They marry to possess God.

This means we should not make the first move horizontally. Vertical love should move first. Once we meet God at a ninety-degree angle, at the place where God descends vertically along the shortest route, then everything is complete. When that happens, your body and mind will harmonize; they will never again fight. (198-122, 1990.01.25)

29. Man and woman marry because of love. Why should they marry because of love? It is to meet God. But where should they go to meet Him? They should go to the center of the universe, to the vertical point where they have each grown in their parent-child relationship, and there they should put their foreheads together.

It will not do if the woman is a step ahead of the man or if the man is a step ahead of the woman. It is only when they come together and hold on to each other that they will harmonize. At this point, they will begin to turn, like a man and woman in love who start to dance.

When a person meets his or her beloved and begins to dance, do they stand still or turn around? As soon as one partner pulls the other, they turn around. As they turn, they leap into the air. As they whirl around faster, they can leap higher and higher. (198-300, 1990.02.05)

30. In the fallen world, love is a dangerous thing. In the Garden of Eden, there were only Adam and Eve, one woman and one man. In this fallen world, however, there are plenty of women. Many of those women are going out of their way to seduce men, be it night or day. That being the case, how difficult it is for men to maintain their virtue!

The same is true for women. After marrying, a man should not meet any other woman alone. After marrying, a couple should go everywhere together. In one sense, the Fall occurred because of poor management of their relationship. It is still that way today; husbands and wives fall because they each fail in the management of their relationship.

It is also because the husband fails to convey to the wife that she is alone and that she should place him above all else. They tend to love each other with such intimacy. (100-144, 1978.10.09)

31. If there are no sons or daughters in a family but just the husband and wife, the couple can achieve the standard of horizontal love between the two, but not the standard of vertical love. This is why married couples want to have children. Divine law directs them to do so.

When you marry, why do you want to have children, even though giving birth to them is so difficult? It is to love your spouse and your sons and daughters, which you will gladly do even at the sacrifice of your life. But you did not know the fundamental reason for doing this. It is to be in touch with God's love, which is the core of the universe.

Furthermore, by connecting with His love, you will be able to triumph over every difficulty and prosper in every endeavor. Even though you did not make it that way, and you did not wish for it, it is the way of the principle of creation, established by the God who created you. (132-248, 1984.06.20)